I don’t want to message you,
Yet I end up messaging you…
I don’t want to talk to you,
Yet I end up talking to you…
I don’t want to see you again,
Yet I end up meeting you…
Its happened again,
All the things I saw before,
All the things I believed in,
All the things I hoped for,
End up shattering into broken mirrors
Of expectations and my own undoing…
Of mistakes made time and again,
Mistakes that hurt me,
Pierce me,
Of tears swelling without my will…
Of hidden scars that expose themselves again…
Having been proved wrong time and again,
Yet not understanding cruel truths…
Of experiencing
Hypocritical lies and ties,
Yet not overcoming the ability to stop trusting…
Of having made mistakes
To fall into my pit of gloom,
Yet unable to correct my path…
Its as though I act out strong,
Yet the heart groans,
And tears flow unstopping…
Not wanting, yet happening….
Of having discovered life,
In its charms,
And having forgotten it
Just because of one person…
I know not the reason why I cry,
I know not what makes me cry….
But it’s the same feeling…
Of deprivation,
Of loss,
Of having thought of so much,
And happened so little….
Of flowers created by imagination
Only to be left dry….
To decay….
Of knowing truth,
And accepting it willingly,
Yet it pokes knife through my heart…
My brain and heart
Work independently…
Each out of sync with the other,
And thus here I lie,
In moments of happiness
And in moments of agony…
You’ll never know what I go through,
You’ll never know, what I face,
You’ll never know what I have been through…
You’ll never know what I say…
You’ll never know what I sought…
You’ll never know me….
And even though I charted out
That I knew you completely,
Or thinking I could change you,
Only turned out to be an illusion,
Now blurring away….
And even though you posed like the knight,
I should’ve known,
I was imagining again…
You don’t feel the same way like you did before,
Its ok….
I don’t want you to do things I tell you to…
It was my mistake that I thought you think the same way too…
So its ok….
And though I never wanted to be like this,
But still… its ok…
With my breath quieting,
Unable to breath,
My ears going numb,
Unable to hear,
And vision blurred,
With the tears I write….
I know,
It won’t ever be the same again….
But its ok….
And though acceptance is just hard…
All I need is a little more time…
And all I have to say is ::
It’s all ok….
